Once
by freedomnova
Summary: Obi Wan who had just finished speaking to Luke, haunted by the young Jedi's words that echoed his mother's 'there is still light in him.I know it.' The force drew Obi Wan to Vader's dreams and in a last attempt to help his old friend the force gifted Obi Wan with enough power to send Anakin back in time. A second chance to follow the light.
1. Chapter 1

Summary- Darth Vader has known nothing other other then the darkness for years. He hasn't thought of his past or Anakin Skywalker in a very long time. He didn't bother thinking of the love he lost, or the friends he left behind. There was no reason to. He had everything he ever wanted. Power. But then that boy walked into his life, the boy with her eyes. Those eyes brought back memories, brought back feelings. Those eyes ignited a small flame that was drawn to the light.

That small flame of light echoed through the force so very tiny, but strong enough to be noticed. Obi Wan who had just finished speaking to Luke, haunted by the young Jedi's words that echoed his mother's. The same words she spoke on her death bed, 'there is still light in him. I know it.' The force drew Obi Wan to Vader's dreams and in a last attempt to help his old friend the force gifted Obi Wan with enough power to send Anakin back, to give him a second chance.

 **AN- I know the idea that the force can transport someone back in time wouldn't happen, but just an idea that came to me so I decided to write it.**

* * *

 _He opened his eyes and smiled as her hair pushed on his face. How he missed this, holding her in his arms as they slept side by side. Every time they were apart any time he slept without her he longed to hold her again. To just feel her in his arms breathing in and out slowly as she slept. He could lay like this forever surrounded by the woman he loved. His smile stayed on his face as he felt truly at home. He knew where they were, on her home planet in her home, their home. This was perhaps the only place he ever considered a home, the one and only place he truly felt safe._

 _His smile turned to a frown as he felt the warmth draining from him every bit of happiness started to slip away. The safe feeling of home vanished he turned his head back to his wife who slept beside him, but she was no longer there he couldn't feel her. Panic gripped him, where did she go? He tried to yell her name, but no sound came out. He was ripped from the bed and thrown into a pit of darkness; no warm walls no soft bed, no wife. A dark laugh echoed through the darkness it chilled his bones just hearing it._

' _No.' a voice whispered in his mind. 'It was real. I was real.' And then as if someone pushed the voice away it vanished._

Vader sat up and placed his hand on his head. He had that dream again the dream he kept trying to forget. Ever since he had first seen the boy he had known. Ever since he had seen the boy he had been haunted by images of the past. Haunted by every decision he had made, every face he had left behind. He heard voices everywhere he turned as he saw images haunting the halls.

All the images all the voices belonged to a time that could only be considered when he was real, when he could truly be seen. It had been so long since he had thought about that time, so long since he dared to think perhaps that was a better time. Ever since he had seen that boy he began to wonder if everything could have been different if only he made different choices.

He was only Vader now, but once he had been real once he had been someone's little boy who cared for everyone even if he didn't know them. Once he had been a boy that just wanted to help a strange man and his friends. Once he could feel every emotion around him, once he could love, once he had friends that he would do anything for. Now he had no one.

He fell into the darkness an inescapable pit. There was a part of him that even he did not realize that just wanted to be free. A part deep within his soul that was still Anakin Skywalker calling out for someone to listen someone to help him. Someone to battle the darkness and allow his soul to be free within the light. There seemed no one left that wanted to find that small part of him, but still that light hid deep away locked away from the world.

No one was left that could hear the small amount of light within him, no one could hear the small light screaming to be free. Deep down it was as if Anakin Skywalker frozen in time was screaming to be free. Screaming that he was real, that he was there. He could still feel the pain he could still see every thing he knew what he was doing was wrong, but he had no control. He just wanted to be real once more, he just wanted to be free, but no matter how hard he tried he wasn't strong enough.

He fell so far becoming Vader he could no longer be recognized as that little boy that had once put his pod racer on the line, just to win money for a strange Jedi and a girl. He fell so far from being the little boy that just loved his mother. he fell so far from being the boy who once had a friend by his side that was more like a brother, but because of his choices he had chased that friend away. No. He had killed that friend. His heart race picked up as he thought of Obi Wan.

 _'You were the chosen one!'_ his ild master's voice echoed through the room. Vader almost felt like he was transported back in time, back to that fateful day he had lost to his once master. The day that he stopped being Anakin Skywalker and fully became Darth Vader. He could still feel the heat on his skin; he could still feel the pain as if always haunting him from his skin burning away. _'It was said you would destroy the sith, not join him! Bring balance to the force not leave it in darkness!'_

Vader could still hear his own screams from the heat, from the pain. _'I hate you!'_ his voice spat. The small part of him that was Anakin felt pain just from those words regretting them, but Vader was far stronger then Anakin. Vader wanted to smile at those words he knew what pain they caused the master Jedi.

 _'You were my brother Anakin, I love you.'_ Obi Wan's voice broke. Anakin felt the fire take him in whole and the memory ended.

Vader let himself fall back to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be an important day. The end was near for the war. He knew his son was going to come for him, he knew tomorrow was the day he would either convince his son to join him, or he would have to kill him. Vader hoped Luke would join him, the power the two could wield together they could rule father and son.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep he was haunted once again by a face he had killed. The face of an older aged Obi Wan.

"I killed you." Vader spoke not realizing that this was only a dream, everything around him felt so real.

"I didn't believe it." The old man spoke, "After all this time I lost faith."

"How are you here?" Vader growled.

"I've always been here, ever since you killed me." He spoke, "This is just the only time I got through."

"Through?" Vader asked his anger growing, how could this be possible. He wasn't even detecting him within the force.

"You changed in front of me, your eyes got darker with every day. It happen quietly your focus burned away. You tried to talk to me and I never listened to you fears of your dreams. I never made sure you were safe. You chose to lock yourself away. I'm here now. I'm here to listen." He told Vader stepping forward.

"There is nothing I have to stay to you." Vader growled. "You are nothing,"

"I knew you struggled all those years ago, I hoped if I just ignored my fears you would stay within the light, but I see now you needed me. You still do." Obi Wan spoke.

"You don't know me." Vader hissed, "You don't know Darth Vader."

"He is not who I speak to now." Obi Wan spoke and as he did his ghostly imaged seemed to change, he was no longer the old man, but the young man he had been back before Darth Vader had been born. The younger Obi Wan stood before him now. Seeing him brought back a flash of an emotion Vader had long since forgotten, a flash of loyalty. Seeing the face he had once called friend seemed to spark a small flame deep within as if to light the way for Anakin to see his way through the darkness. Yet just as quickly as the light was ignited Vader pushed it out with his darkness. "Tricks will not help you." Vader spoke. "He is gone, you can not reach him."

"In the words of your wife and your son, there is still light within you." Obi Wan spoke, "I just wish I saw it sooner, I wish I fought harder for you. Anakin."

"Anakin is no more he is nothing more then a story now." Vader spoke.

"Once you were real. Once you had something to lose." Obi Wan told him "That is what drove you here. Remember why you turned to darkness."

"Power." Vader spoke quickly, "I wanted power I wanted to be powerful I wanted to rule."

"No." Obi Wan shook his head, "yes you wanted power, but not to rule." He looked at the half man half machine that stood in front of him, "You wanted power to protect. You wanted power to help the republic. You wanted power to save Padme."

Upon hearing the name of his wife that light deep within was once again ignited, this time Vader didn't crush it.

"Once you could feel." His old Master spoke, "Once you could love. And you loved her. That was real. Anakin was real he still is."

"No." Vader said his voice hollow, "Love wasn't real, all that is real is power."

"You don't believe that, I know it." Obi Wan told him. "And I have the power to show you."

"Show me?" Vader asked, but Obi Wan didn't answer only smiled.

"I love you Anakin." He spoke, "And I forgive you."

Vader wanted to grow angry, he wanted to yell back but before he could it was as if someone opened up the blast doors and he was sucked into the vacuum of space. All he saw was darkness he was spinning faster then he ever had before. He couldn't see anything and before he knew it he was lost within the darkness.

* * *

It was that dream again he smiled has he felt her in his arms; he felt her hair on his face. How he longed for these dreams during the day and couldn't wait to sleep so he could hold her again. He knew this time wouldn't last he knew he would be ripped away from this at any moment, but for now he would enjoy it. He could pretend this truly was real he could feel ever rise and fall of her breath. He could soak up her presence in the force. He didn't want to move afraid if he did he would wake up and if he did he would be brought back to his ship. Back to the present where she wasn't there, were he was Darth Vader and not Anakin Skywalker. he took notice his hand that was wrapped around her. It held her yes not her swollen stomach, but instead her small waistline. That was strange he always dreamed of her, but it was always their first night laying together after he found out she was expected his child. Without thinking he lifted his head and looked at her, this was the first time he had seen her face fully in his dreams.

He felt his heart breaking seeing her face again; it seemed so real as if she really was just sleeping next to him. He let himself stay propped up next to her just staring at her.

This dream was by far the best he had since he began having them. He could hear ships that flew outside his window and it was lasting far longer then any had before. Who knew how long he just watched her, just kept that silly grin on his young face. He could feel how much he missed her, how much he wanted to really feel her touch, really hear her voice really see her eyes. And then they opened. Padme's eyes looked up at him she groaned as she did every morning when she woke up. He remembered she wasn't much of a morning person. His heart raced with joy, but it also began to sink he knew at any moment he would wake up and this moment would be thrown back into reality and he would be in the reality pretending he didn't miss this, didn't miss her.

"What's with that silly grin Ani?" she asked.

He felt the smile fade from his face, never before had he heard her voice so real in his dreams. Never had he seen her so clearly. This was so real he knew he didn't want to wake up.

"Ani?" She frowned as she propped her self up her face only inches from his. He could feel her breath on his face. He wanted to lean forward and kiss her, to feel her lips on his. Without thinking he knew he wanted to get the most out of his dream. He leaned forward and kissed her. In that moment he felt like his whole world had been spinning out of control almost as if the moment he became Vader his soul had been scattered flying among the stars, but in the moment of that kiss it was like his soul snapped back together. His world snapped back into focus. He pulled her close and depended the kiss. It felt so real it felt like their first kiss in over twenty years. He never wanted it to end.

Padme pulled back for air and smiled at her husband, "What was that for?" she asked smiling rested her head on his.

"I've missed you." He whispered, but his voice wasn't the voice he was used to. The echo that always followed his words was gone. His mask was gone. He was breathing on his own.

"I'm right here." She told him leaning back and brushing his hair out of his face, "Are you alright Ani?"

"I wish this could last." He told her knowing this dream must be coming to an end.

"As do I, but I should leave now." She told him as she moved away sliding her feet over the side of the bed.

"No. Please." His voice was desperate as he reached for her, "Don't leave me."

"Ani." She said looked back worry on her eyes. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Not without you." He said, "I don't want this to end, I don't want to wake up."

"You are awake." She told him. She leaned over and kissed him softly, "Did you have another nightmare?"

"I've been living one for so very long." He said, "I wish this was real." He told her his body shaking, as he knew this was going end. He didn't want it to, he wanted to be here in the moment, with her.

"Anakin." she spoke as she got back on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. "This is real, I am real. What did you dream about?"

"I don't want to be him." He spoke, "I want you I want this. I want our future."

"And you have it." She told him, "I'm not going anywhere."

He looked up at her their eyes meeting, "Yes you are." He told her, "Any moment I'm going to wake up and be brought back there, back to the darkness."

"This isn't a dream." She told him, "What ever you are talking about, the darkness was only a dream. Anakin." She paused, "Perhaps that accident you were in last night effected you more then they thought."

"Accident?" he asked.

"You don't remember?" She sighed, "I was supposed to wake you up and not let you sleep to long."

His eyes searched her trying to figure out what she was telling him. Already this dream was far more then it had ever been before.

"You swore to the doctors you were fine, they told you not to let yourself sleep to long and to have someone around that could wake you every hour." She told him, "You told everyone you didn't need someone so that I could sneak into here and be that person for you." She sighed, "Only I fell asleep and now you are confused and disoriented like the doctors said you would be."

He placed his hand on his head he felt the pain echoing thought his mind. What was going on? Why was this dream so real? How could he feel pain in his dream?

"Anakin. You worrying me, perhaps I should get the doctor." Without saying anymore or letting him respond she hurried from the room in the direction of a doctor.

Anakin looked around the room; it felt hard to breath as if without his mask he couldn't breath. He continued to breath heavy as he looked at his hands, one was real flesh and the other mechanical. His dark suit was nowhere to be seen. Nothing made sense. He called out for Padme, but she didn't return.

Panic began to grip him, he hadn't felt this in so very long, but he knew this dream was turning into a nightmare; something bad was going to happen. She was gone now she had left. He got up and allowed his feet to carry him out of the room. He looked around stunned. Everything looked just as it had years ago it was amazing how his mind held onto every detail. He turned around and everything felt like it was spinning, he couldn't make sense of everything. He turned, but he was moving to quick and not paying attention. He walked right into a droid that was carrying a tray of food. The tray hit his head and he yelled out in pain. It hurt far more then it should as if something had been ripped open. He cried out in pain and fell onto the ground holding his head in pain. He touched where the pain was and then glanced at his hand and saw blood, why was he bleeding from a simple tray.

"Anakin!" a male's voice called in worry. He looked up to see Obi Wan rushing to him, but it wasn't the old man. It was his old master young again.

"What did you do to me?" he growled at his old master, "Why are you torturing me?" his voice grew louder to a yell.

"Anakin." Came another voice. Her voice. She was back. He looked up at her.

"You came back." He said smiling seeing her, but the smile faded as hateful eyes fell onto Obi Wan. "You are tricking me. This isn't real you want to torture me. You want to kill me"

"What are you doing here?" he heard Obi Wan ask Padme, but then turned to his friend, "Anakinwhy would you think that?

"I." she paused, "Found him wondering around he doesn't understand what's going on. He doesn't think I'm real any of this is real. He's confused."

The doctor leaned down and looked at him, "He opened the wound on his head." He told her, "We should bring him back to the clinic and run some test."

"I should have been by every hour to wake him." Obi Wan shook his head, "He swore he was fine."

"Skywalker is very head strong." The doctor smiled, "I'm sure he just needs some time to re-oriented and understand what's going on."

Obi Wan leaned down, "Let me help you Ana-" he paused as his friend looked at him with nothing but hate in his eyes. "-kin."

"Ani." Padme said, "Look at me." She noticed the hate that he held for Obi Wan in his eyes. "Just look at me."

"I killed him." He muttered as his eyes moved to Padme, but softened when he met her eyes.

"It was only a dream Ani. It was all a dream." She spoke and as he did he felt a small pinch in his arm and then he felt himself being pulled away and back into the darkness. He knew this moment was coming he didn't want to leave he didn't want to wake up. He reached for her, but she was so far away now. He couldn't feel her, not anymore.

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 **AN-A little idea I got from listening to a song on youtube. Review and let me know if I should continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Every review I get inspires me to write more. So read and review let me know what you think.**

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He knew he was awake now, but he didn't want to open his eyes he didn't want to see that his dream was over. He didn't want to know Padme was gone, if only he kept his eyes closed longer he could still pretend. Only he couldn't pretend forever. Slowly he allowed his eyes to open, but had to close them quickly again. He wasn't in his dark room anymore; no there was a bright light above him. He slowly opened his eyes again and allowed them to adjust. The room seemed white this wasn't his room he was in a hospital. He groaned as a sharp pain filled his mind.

Where was he? He lifted his hand to shield his eyes; usually the protection of his mask shielded his eyes from strong lights. It was then he noticed his hand. It was his hand. His real hand not some black glove, not burned skin. It was his own flesh without any burn marks. He lifted up his other hand in front of his eyes and turned them both over again and again he only had one arm that was machine. He had no black armor; he could feel his legs, real legs. He touched his face and felt no mask. How could this be possible? Was he still dreaming?

"Anakin?" came a worried voice that belonged to his old master. Anakin looked up and frowned. Obi Wan was young not an old man, and very much alive.

"How did you survive?" he asked hate hinted in his words as if he wasn't happy that Obi Wan was beside him.

"You were in the accident, I was not." Obi Wan told him, "You had us worried Anakin."

Anakin began to feel his hate filling him. He wasn't Anakin, he was Darth Vader this master Jedi needed to show him respect and call him by his true name. "Anakin is gone." He growled.

Obi Wan stepped forward, "You are just confused you hit your head hard yesterday." He smiled at his friend. "I told you at times you can be to reckless and you lost another light saber."

"I killed you, I killed you." Anakin yelled sitting up, but winced from a pain in his side. Why was he in so much pain?

"Anakin calm down. You broke a few ribs as well." Obi Wan moved forward, but as he did Anakin swung at him. "Anakin!" he yelled as he dodged and Anakin fell to the ground yelling out in pain.

A doctor and a droid came rushing in as alarms sounded; they wrestled him back onto the bed with Obi Wan's help. The whole time Anakin acted like he wanted to attack his master. He was on the bed they restrained him, but he continued to yell at Obi Wan, "I killed you, I killed you."

Padme looked through the window worry plastered across her face, Anakin wasn't right something was wrong. Obi Wan was in the room with him, but Anakin had to be restrained he acted like they were enemies. The master Jedi seemed to hang his head and walk out of the room and into the one that Padme was in. Anakin kept yelling after him, about killing him, about fighting him, as if they were enemies.

"I don't understand." Padme said seeing Anakin struggling against his restraints.

"It's like he's had a complete break from reality." Obi wan told her shaking his head, "I don't understand he thinks he killed me." He paused, "and not in a remorseful way."

"How did this happen?" she asked.

"He was shot down yesterday. He escaped with a bad gash on his head and a few broken ribs, but I thought he was alright." The Jedi told her.

"That doesn't sound alright to me." She glared at him, but she knew this really wasn't his fault. She blamed herself, why hadn't she trusted what the doctor said? Why hadn't she made sure he was woke up every hour?

A droid walked in and gave Anakin a shot holding a drug that would calm him down, but still keep him awake. He stopped struggling and just looked at the walls, his eyes searching for answers for his confused mind.

"You know Anakin." Obi Wan told her, "He hardly let's you know why he's in pain, he's hard to read in that way."

Padme sighed, she knew that was the very reason she had allowed herself to sleep last night. Anakin had seemed fine.

"Maybe you should go in there." The master Jedi said.

Padme looked up, "Why me?" she asked a little to quickly.

Obi Wan sighed he had his suspicions about the two, but he chose to ignore his suspicions. "Because he trust you." He told her, "He's confused, maybe you could explain everything to him, help him realize what is real and what is not."

She nodded her head and gave an inner sigh of relief, she had almost thought Obi Wan knew about her and Anakin. It was hard hiding their relationship from him.

Padme walked into the hospital room, Anakin's eyes lit up when he saw her and a kind soft smile spread onto his face. His eyes showed he had large amounts of sedatives in his system. "This is a dream." He whispered, "I see you."

"I see you too." She said smiling. "But this isn't a dream."

He reached for her, but his arm caught on his restraint he frowned, "Obi Wan is going to kill me." He spoke looking up at her, "That's what he is doing."

"No, Anakin, why would he hurt you?" she moved forward and took his hand.

"Because I killed him, so now this is his torture." He told her, "He wants me to see you again, he wants me to believe you are really here, and then he is going to rip you away again."

"No." she shook her head, "this is real, I am real, you are real."

He began to shake his head, "You aren't real." He could feel tears filling his eyes, "You died a long time ago."

"Ani." Her heart hurt for him she could see the pain in his eyes, he really believed she was dead.

"You died, I wasn't strong enough." He told her again.

"Ani, don't talk like this not here." She told him.

"Once this was all real." He pushed his head back into his pillow, "He wants me to see that. He brought my mind to this place because this is when I was easier to break. I was easier to bend with you by my side." He shook his head, "He wants me to suffer that's what he's doing."

"Listen to me Ani." Padme almost yelled, "Hear my voice. This is real all of this, you and me. Obi Wan isn't against you."

"Yes he is." He frowned, "He turned you against me."

"No." she placed her hand on the side of his face. Anakin closed his eyes and leaned into her hand, this all felt so real. He hated Obi Wan for pulling this trick on him. Why did the ghost of his master do this to him? Why couldn't he just kill him? Anakin grew angry he should be stronger then this he should be strong enough not to be locked in this mind trick. "Ani." She called to him. "Open your eyes." He opened them.

"Tell me something only you would know." He told her.

She thought for a moment then leaned down and whispered, "We are married."

He pulled back, "Not that." He told her his eyes flashing dark.

She frowned, "Ani. What do you want me to say?" she paused, "What can I say to prove to you this is real."

Anakin leaned back in again into the pillow his hair falling in his face. Padme leaned forward and brushed it out of his face. "This feels so real, I can feel pain."

"It is real." She told him. "That is why you feel pain." She leaned down so she could whisper, "Ani you need to get better then we can take a vacation to Naboo, back to the meadow."

He smiled, "Home." He whispered back, "I want to go home."

Padme smiled, "I've never heard you call it that before, never thought you considered it home."

He moved his head and his eyes met her's, "It's the first and only place I've ever felt at peace." He told her.

"Then embrace this." She told him, "Even if you think this is all a trick embrace it, enjoy it."

He nodded his head. "If this is real was everything else a dream?" he asked.

"I believe so." She told him.

"There is no empire?" he asked.

"Empire?" she asked confused.

"The government, the republic died and became the empire. I helped." He told her shaking his head.

"Anakin the republic is still alive and well." She told him, "There is no empire. You are good." She paused, "And you and Obi Wan are a team. You don't hate him."

He looked up he was about to argue, but realized there were only two options to explain what was going on. One option was Obi Wan was really playing a trick on him, but instead of fighting it he could enjoy it, he could truly embrace thinking and feeling as if Padme was back. Option two was that everything had been a dream, that he really had been in an accident and everything, Darth Vader and the Empire was all a dream he had been locked into. Either way he wanted to enjoy this. He wanted to fully be here and now with Padme.

"Anakin?" Obi Wan's voice spoke as he stepped into the room, "Are you alright?" Anakin noticed the worry in his eyes. He remembered those eyes; they weren't the eyes of the old man he had killed, the old man that only held pain and regret. No these were the eyes of his master, his friend someone truly worried about him. "Obi Wan?" he asked, "This isn't a trick?"

"No." He spoke coming to Anakin's side smiling. "This isn't a trick."

"You are my master?" he asked.

"Yes." Obi Wan spoke, "And friend." He smiled happy to see the boy becoming himself. He tried to ignore the way he saw Anakin look at Padme he tried to forget the words he heard them speak.

Anakin took in a deep breath and let out a large shaking exhale. "I feel like it has been forever since I could breath." He spoke. "I'm real." He said, "I am free." He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The weight of the dark side.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since he had woken up as Anakin Skywalker, every night he fell asleep he feared he would wake up as Vader. He knew he shouldn't fear his future he shouldn't regret his choices. There were things here he didn't like about being back here. Obi Wan for one. That man smiled at him, that man called him friend, but he knew. He knew Obi Wan was bidding his time to hurt him, finding just the right moment to rip this away. The only thing that he enjoyed about being back was Padme.

Obi Wan blamed the injury he had gotten that caused his mind to grow confused. How convenient. Obi Wan acted like his old self acted as he had before the two had fallen out. Anakin wanted nothing to do with his old master, but knew he had to keep up the act. If he killed Obi Wan now he feared whatever power his old master was wielding would end upon his death and he wasn't ready to allow this to end.

Anakin still didn't know what was going on and why he was really hear, but he wouldn't allow himself to get close to Obi Wan he wouldn't let his guard down so the old man could kill him. No he was going to stay alive as long as he could see and feel Padme as if she was real.

"Anakin." Obi Wan said coming up next to him, "You seem some where else as of late."

"I'm fine." He had to fight himself from not glaring at Obi Wan. He didn't want to spend any time with his master.

Obi Wan looked at the young man next to him frowning. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Ever since the accident he just wasn't the same he almost held a hidden hate in his eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked still worried. The look in Anakin's eyes chilled his blood.

Anakin sighed as much as he tried to pretend to be his old self he still couldn't stand to be by his old master's side. He didn't trust the man. "Can I just have a moment of peace?" he closed his eyes as he leaned on the edge of the balcony. Wind blew his hair back he could smell all the smells he had long forgotten, but could remember in full now. He didn't want to admit to even himself how much he missed this.

Obi Wan stood in silence for a moment, but then nodded his head. "Master Yoda needs me to retrieve some information." He continued, "I was going to see if you wanted to come along, but why don't you stay here and rest a little bit longer, get your bearings together."

Anakin opened his eyes and looked over at him, "My mind is sound." He told him.

"I know, but your just aren't yourself." His old master told him, "Something is bothering you. Figure this out while I am gone Anakin. You can't have this conflict within you, not if you want to be a master Jedi."

Anakin rolled his eyes, "In your eyes I never will be good enough will I?"

"Anakin?" Obi Wan stepped forward placing his hand on Anakin's shoulder, "That isn't true, I believe you will be great, you are the chosen one."

Anakin shrugged the hand from his shoulder. "You think I'm not strong enough don't you?" he asked his eyes turning almost to hate again looking upon the Jedi.

"You are plenty strong enough Anakin, with strength and power but you need to learn to control your emotions better." He sighed, "Padme has requested to have a Jedi escort her home it would seem there was another attempt on her life."

Anakin's head snapped up quickly, "When?"

"A few hours ago." Obi Wan ignored the worry in the young man's eyes; he tried to turn a blind eye to Anakin's feelings for the girl. "I suggested you go with her." He knew it was wrong he knew he shouldn't be allowing the two to spend time together, but perhaps Anakin just needed some time of peace. Something about Naboo calmed the young Jedi; perhaps it was the people or the lands. Obi Wan just hoped his friend could come back and be at peace from what ever tormented him on the inside since the accident. Whatever nightmare had taken him that night had shaken him up. "The council has approved this."

Anakin smiled and nodded his head. He longed to return to Naboo with Padme he had dreamed of it for years. Feeling the mist of the waterfall, feeling the grass brushing against his hand. Holding Padme in the meadow without worrying if someone would catch them. He let out a long breath one he seemed to be holding for almost twenty years since he had lost her. He could go home. He could really go home. In that moment he looked up at Obi Wan and smiled his hate leaving for a small moment, "Thank you." He said softly. He felt lighter in that moment without his anger filling him. He felt like he could smile truly smile. Perhaps Obi Wan was planning to end this is an awful way, but right now he had given Anakin one of the best gifts he could.

Obi Wan sighed still noticing a change within his friend, but could tell perhaps this was a step in the right direction. Something was wrong deep within Anakin he seemed to be struggling with an inner conflict. He knew he shouldn't be sending his friend off with Padme, but when Anakin's eyes showed a storm ready to hit it was always her that could calm him. It was wrong the couple sneaking around, it was wrong they were even a couple, but Obi Wan worried no he feared that without an anchor he could lose himself to the pain within, the fear within, and his true loneliness. Obi Wan feared that most of all Anakin just wanted to have someone that loved him for him, not for being a Jedi, not for being strong. He just wanted someone to love him for him. That person was Padme and more harm then good would be done if she were taken from him.

* * *

Yesterday had been something Anakin never knew he had wanted. He and Padme had made it back to Naboo, they enjoyed their time together that day just like it used to be. To Padme it was something she could consider normal. She was happy, but she always was when she was with Anakin and especially when they were here on Naboo.

To Anakin these moments together filled him with so much joy he had forgotten what it felt like. All those years he had been Darth Vader, all those years in the darkness he had convinced himself that he didn't care, that he didn't want this. That having something to smile at was worth nothing. Yet here and now on Naboo with Padme he knew every thing he had once convinced himself to believe was a lie. He wanted her he wanted her forever. She was what made him, him. Without Padme there was no Anakin Skywalker.

He knew that was more true then even he could understand, because when he lost her he had allowed Anakin Skywalker to die he pushed way any thought of the light side and fully embraced the dark side. She was everything he needed to keep his temper in check. She was the only one that could calm him with just a look in her eyes. Her touch could calm any raging storm within him. All she had to do was reach out and take his arm in hers and he could breath again.

Anakin opened his eyes searching for Padme next to him, but he frowned. She wasn't there. He reached out to feel for her, but as he did he noticed his hand. His hand was not his own.

 _No._ He thought his heart rate picked up. This couldn't be happening. It had been so real. She had been so real. He sat up in bed glancing around hoping longing to see his home with Padme on Naboo. He wasn't there. It wasn't real.

He couldn't understand what he was feeling; he couldn't understand why something hurt deep within. That dream had felt so real he had felt things he hadn't in a long time. Things he wasn't even sure he could feel anymore.

Joy. That was what he had felt. He had forgotten what it was like to have that in his life, to have something, someone to smile about. Happiness. He had truly thought she was in his arms again, that he was on Naboo with her. Hope. He had fully allowed himself to hope that he was Anakin Skywalker once more.

No. He couldn't think that way; he couldn't want the return of Anakin Skywalker, that man was weak. That man couldn't save anyone. Darth Vader was strong, Darth Vader was powerful he didn't need a woman.

A woman. Even as he thought it he knew Padme was far from just any woman. She was his light, his joy, his happiness, and his hope. She was everything that held him to the light; she was everything that made him smile. And she was gone again. That dream had felt so real that in this moment he felt as if she had just left him, that she had only just died.

"Lord Vader." One of the troopers came in through the doorway.

Vader. His anger filled him and he let it flow out of him and to the trooper. He lifted his hand and allowed the force to take hold of the man as he began to choke. He wasn't fully sure what the anger was about but he didn't care. Vader didn't care.

The quick thought washed over him, but it made him even angrier. The thought that he was upset over the name. He didn't want to be Vader he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be Anakin Skywalker on Naboo with Padme.

He let his anger consume him as the trooper fell to the ground close to death. This was who he was, this was what he was. A killer, one with the dark side. There was no good left within him. No good left.

As the trooper stood and relayed his announcement that troops had made it to the moon Vader nodded his head and let the man leave. He leaned back in the chair he was sitting in his mind haunted with the images that felt as if they had just been yesterday. Naboo. Padme. They had been together he had held her in his arms. She had felt so real everything had been so real. His heart was breaking all over again, but it wasn't just his heart. That voice he chose to ignore over all this time, the voice that belonged to Anakin Skywalker was growing louder. It screamed to be free, it screamed to go back in time and back to her arms. He leaned his head back and felt like he couldn't breath with his mask on. He tried to make his breathing even. In out in out. _Just keep breathing_ , he told himself, _it was just a dream only a dream._

He turned his head as something caught his eye and instantly he reached for the light saber that wasn't at his side. There standing near the window was a ghostly image of the old man. The old man that went by the name Obi Wan or Old Ben the man that he had killed.

"You." Anakin growled.

"Be at ease young Jedi." Obi Wan told him his voice showing no hint of hate.

"I am no Jedi." Vader spat letting hate once again fill him; he could feel that familiar fire burning within him the fire fueled by hate.

"Don't do this Anakin." Obi Wan told him, "Don't give your self to your hate." He frowned, "Don't fall for those tricks not again."

"Tricks?" Vader smirked, "They aren't tricks they were strong enough to kill you weren't they?"

Obi Wan smiled, "Perhaps, perhaps not."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Vader asked

"That is not important." Obi Wan told him, "What is important is this chance you have."

"Chance?" Vader asked his eyes spotting his light saber, but it was across the room.

"A second chance Anakin, to be who you were meant to be, to be what you were meant to be." Obi Wan told him. "You have learned to bury your guilt with anger. You must learn to find balance within."

"I don't understand." Vader said letting his guard down sounding more like Anakin looking for answers from his master then Vader demanding answers.

"I failed you." Obi Wan said, "I gave up on you, but speaking to Luke who sounded just like his mother. There is still good in you Anakin.

"You underestimate the power of the dark side." Vader told Obi Wan, "You can not change any choice I've made you can not take my power from me.

"You once believed you were the chosen one, you can be again." The master Jedi spoke. "You were seduced by the dark side. Twisted by it. You were once a good friend. You were once Anakin Skywalker."

"That name has no meaning to me." He growled, but then he looked down, "there is no hope for me." He looked up, "Anakin died the day Darth Vader was born."

"I refuse to believe that." Obi Wan spoke. "Not now."

"How are you doing this?" Vader asked

"Do not ask how but why." Obi Wan told him, "Remember Anakin."

"Remember what?" he growled.

Obi Wan began to fade as if the breeze that blew through the wind was sweeping him away, "Once you were real and you could be real once again."

* * *

 _It was only just a dream_. He told himself again until his breathing slowed. He took in a deep breath and got ready to go see his Master.

"Anakin?" her voice rang out causing him to freeze with his eyes closed. The voice belonged to Padme.

Slowly, very slowly Vader opened his eyes, but he wasn't in his darkroom, no he was in their bedroom on Naboo. He wasn't Vader, he was Anakin Skywalker once more.

"Did you fall asleep in that chair?" she asked as she walked up to him. She wrapped her arms about his neck and sat down in his lap.

Anakin just looked at her surprised he couldn't understand what was going on. Here he was again with Padme, but only moments ago he had been back in his room. In Darth Vader's room. "I-" he paused, "I suppose so." His mind couldn't wrap around what was going on. Was this the dream or was Vader?

Padme bushed his hair out of his face and gave him a soft kind smile, "You seem out of it." She told him, "Perhaps you should have slept in the bed."

He nodded his head, but didn't respond for a moment and simply moved forward and kissed her. He smiled feeling his lips touch hers, "You're real." He said softly as he pulled away and rested his forehead on hers.

"Of course I am." She frowned, "You keep asking me that. Did you have a bad dream again?"

"I think so." He said letting himself be tricked. Even if this was a dream then he much rather have this one. He didn't want to be Vader right now. Sure he didn't feel the power that he felt as Vader. Right now he couldn't feel the power that coursed through him as he let his anger flow through him and choke that trooper, but right now he didn't care for the power. Instead right now all he cared about was her and spending his time with her.

Padme kissed him and smiled, "Well here you and I are, this is not a dream."

Anakin smiled, "I like that."

"What are those dreams about?" she asked.

Anakin paused for a moment and just looked at her and decided to tell her the truth. "The future." He looked down, "Years from now."

"And what happens?" she asked.

"I'll start having other dreams soon." He told her, "About you dying and I'll stop at nothing to keep you safe. To stop you from dying."

"I'm not going anywhere Ani." She kissed him softly, "I promise."

"But you do, you die and it's my fault." For the first time in a very long time he could feel his guilt he could see how he had caused her death. "I'm not how I should be Padme. I'm not like the other Jedi."

"What do you mean?" she frowned. "You are just as strong if not stronger."

"That's the problem." He told her, "I'm" he paused, "Drawn to the dark side."

Padme pulled back slightly shocked, but began to shake her head, "No." she told him, "I know you Ani there is no darkness in you."

"You know that isn't true." Ani told her, "My anger takes me and I can't always stop it."

She gave him a reassuring smile, "You are stronger then you think." She said softly, "All the strength you need is within you." She glanced out the window for a moment and turned back to him, "I'm going to find us something to eat." She kissed him, "Rest your mind Anakin, relax everything is alright."

* * *

 **AN-Mostly a filler chapter more action in the next.**


End file.
